


The Trials of Sebastian Smythe

by Valdyr



Series: The Phoenix and the Turtle [2]
Category: Glee
Genre: - 6x07, 6x02 - 6x05, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-08
Updated: 2016-07-16
Packaged: 2018-07-22 08:50:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7428187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Valdyr/pseuds/Valdyr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sebastian is fake-dating Kurt, but wants to win him over for real. He just has four problems to overcome first, though one might turn out to be help.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Trial One: Dating

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, okay, fine. I'm writing a sequel! It's not that I was overly against it. But it was my first stand-alone. And now it doesn't stand alone anymore. Anyway, I have thoroughly considered it and decided to do it. Throughout season 6. Untill they fall in love. But consider yourself warned, I can be mean and really patient when I try. Have fun ! (evil smirk)  
> Oh and the first chapter is before 6x02. Really hope you like it!

Sebastian Smythe was good, even great, at a lot of things. French, singing, dancing, sprinting, lacrosse, kissing, flirting, sex, ... and so much more. If he really tried, which he usually didn't do but was perfectly capable of doing, he could even listen and behave and these things. But one thing he had never mastered. Never even tried. And that came back to haunt him now. He didn't know how to date.

Or even how to ask someone on a date. He knew exactly how to ask someone into the bathroom of whatever club they were in, how to ask someone into a hotelroom or to their place so he could leave before they woke up in such a way that they always said yes. He was a master of seduction. But romance ? He had never bothered to learn and now he was trying to woo a master of romance with no experience himself.

But he was also great at learning by doing. He just needed to take the first step, then everything else would fall into place. Or so he tried to tell himself. He didn't exactly manage to convince himself. But he couldn't waver now. Just the first step, he reminded himself, and pulled his phone out. He had almost dropped it in shock, when Kurt had nonchalantly remarked that 'as boyfriends' they should at least have each others numbers and given him his.

He had covered for his shock with smugness at the ice-queen handing out her number so easily then, but Kurt's eyes had proven him wrong. He might look frigid from an outsider's perspective, but he was fire inside and fire had blazed in his eyes. That had made a clever retort unnecessary. Sebastian had visibly gulped in desire and it had been Kurt's turn to be smug. No need to say, they had finished their debate in bed.

Metaphorically, of course. There had been no bed close enough, so he had taken his personal flame against a wall. Thinking of that now didn't really help him make the call, but he knew that, if he gave in now and interrupted his plan for a shower, he would not find the courage after. So he dialled and prayed. But he didn't know what for. That Kurt picked up ? Or that he didn't ?

Just as he realised that he really was too nervous to talk and hoped that Kurt wouldn't pick up, Kurt did.

"..."

Kurt had checked who had called before picking up, so he didn't bother with pleasantries. He didn't hate Sebastian anymore, but they weren't really friends either. They just had some meaningless fun. And if Sebastian called, then he could really start talking already.

Sebastian on the other side was pretty much dying right then and there. His throat had closed up at that faint condemning sound of Kurt picking up and now he didn't know what to say. He couldn't just hang up, though. So what should he do, how could he start ? He wanted to seem smooth and smart, but that was impossible after twenty seconds of silence. Should he just say 'Hi' ? That would be a good first step. Well, it would have been twenty seconds ago. Now it would just be awkward. But he wasn't awkward. He was Sebastian Smythe. He had to say something thoughtful!

"Sex?"

And he cursed himself for just blurting that out. But it was the first thing he had thought of.

"Why didn't you just say that ? I mean what else were you of all people going to say anyway ?"

"... Distracted.(?)"

"Whatever. My dad is home, so can I come to your place ?"

"Sure."

He hung up at once and took a deep deep breath. He had actually survived that call. And it might not be a proper date, but he would meet up with Kurt. That was close enough, right ? A moment later his phone chimed. He had a text ! And it was from Kurt! Oh crap.

**Ur adress, hang-up ? + just btw: U okay ?!?**

He texted him the adress and seriously wondered why on earth he hadn't just asked Kurt out per text. It definitely wouldn't have caused such an awkward silence. But he couldn't change that now, so he pondered what to say when Kurt came over. He didn't usually have these problems talking to him. But it was so important that he didn't say the wrong thing to Kurt and that boy was minefield, anything he said could be the wrong thing to say. For fuck's sake, the boy had literally shoved him off the bed once, just because he had mentioned Blaine !

Okay, he might have insisted on knowing whether he was bigger than Blaine, but that was no reason to push him - the landing had actually hurt - and tell him to get his things now and go. But he had gone and felt really bad and he had been so glad, when Kurt had called two days later to ask him over. Under the condition that he never mention Blaine again. He had realised then how breakable this thing with Kurt was and had been much more careful since.

But, unfortunately, he pondered for quite a while. In the end, it was the doorbell that jerked him from his thought. He cursed again and rushed down only to rip open the door with more force than necessary. Kurt actually raised a brow at the display, then eyed him up and down.

"Wow, you sure you're up for it ? Because if I had been waiting at home for my lover for the last half an hour and still been dressed at your arrival, you'd be giving me a lecture now. So ? Why aren't you naked yet ?"

And all thoughts of dating went out of his head and cleared it for what he knew best.

"'Cause then you couldn't rip them off me ? If I did that with your clothes, I might as well go straight to hell, so you're best naked already. But with me ? Do your worst, tiger."

Kurt actually laughed at that, but he had a fiery glint in his eyes as he did so.

"You know me too well, Sebastian." were the last breathy words said between them, before Kurt pushed him further inside and closed the door with a kick. They didn't make it to the bedroom, but neither complained about the hardness of the floor. He considered asking whether it was too hard for him. But even innuendos could only distract now.

Their kisses were biting and he was quite sure that Kurt's finely trimmed nails were leaving scratch marks, but he didn't mind. He didn't even mind the prospect of a very awkward conversation with his parents if they found an overlooked button somewhere later, because they were scattering everywhere now and he had no hopes of finding them all again.

Sure, his parents wouldn't be happy, when they realised that he had had sex in their entrance hall. Because yes, it was theirs now. He was actually just visiting. He obviously studied outside of Ohio. But whatever, he wasn't thinking about that now. Not with Kurt leaving lovebites on his way down his chest, getting closer to the waistband of his boxers. His pants were long gone.

They never actually fully undressed, though. Why waste time with getting your clothes off completely, when you could get what you wanted with just lowering them ? With a need as urgent as theirs was now, they wouldn't waste time. He had feared that they would have to slow down for prep, but Kurt had positively surprised him yet again.

He had just gripped the diva's taut cheeks and felt for his hole with his fingertips. And the realistation had almost made him come on the spot. Kurt was wearing a plug ? He had driven over wearing a plug ? Damn. That was actually dangerous. Sitting on it and driving. Oh God, with the motor running, that would have felt like a vibrator. Oh dear God, you peeping old pervert in the sky, he thought.

He really wouldn't last much longer, so he made room for himself, uncaringly letting the slick plug roll over the floor. He could clean up later. But now he had to be inside that tight heat and finally he was. He really didn't last long, though. Fortunately, Kurt finished about half a second earlier, so he didn't have to bother with being embarrassed.

The aftermath wasn't even awkward. Kurt complimented his house (mansion, more like) and asked if he was okay now. He hummed in response. He wasn't really back to word formation, yet. This clothes-ripping, wild Kurt was really hot. But that's just passion. Who likes vanilla anyway ? Except virgins perhaps. But they were so not virgins. No, they were awesome. Okay, Kurt was a fabulous bitch, he was an awesome stud.

The clean-up was a good opportunity for the both of them to come down from their peaks without lying for too long on the hardboard floor (technically it was parquet, red chestnut). That would just get kinks into their backs. And kinks were fun when they were metaphorical, but literal ones just sucked.

Once everything was taken care of, Kurt checked the time on his mobile and quickly said bye and left. Apparently he was to see Rachel in an hour and still needed to drive back and shower before that. Sebastian didn't really care. He answered "See you." and Kurt was gone, while he was left to reflect on his date-plan. That had not been a date and it had definitely not helped to transform his carnal relationship with Kurt into a romantic one.

 

It was a couple days later that he came up with a new idea. Texting was definitely safer than calling when it came to his nerves, so he would ask Kurt out through text. And since Kurt would by experience around Sebastian alone be bound to interpret both **Ur place ?** and **My place ?** as **Wanna have sex ?** he aimed to ask him out to an entirely non-sexual meeting place. A dating place. But if questioned he could still say that he just hoped to rub their 'relationship' in Blaine's face some more. And Blaine was a as frequent a customer of that place as they were. So he wrote, short so it wouldn't seem strange for a text:

**Lima Bean ?**

And he waited anxiously for an answer. He had never come this close to actually asking someone out in his entire life. Then his phone chimed and he jumped at the sound. But when he read the answer, he just couldn't believe it.

**Sure. Dinno u had n exhibi kink. But w' the boasting, shld've guessed.**

Seriously ? He could ask Kurt out to the most asexual place in Lima, because he was pretty sure that people had more sex at McKinley and that was a freaking school, and Kurt would still think that he just wanted sex ? Well, he had that reputation and Kurt knew nothing else from him. But seriously ? So okay, he did have a bit of an exhibitionism kink. But that wasn't the poi... wait, Kurt would indulge him ? Wow.

Now he wondered what other kinks Kurt would let him play with and try out. Because even he hadn't tried everything. He usually had sex with strangers. But he was not such a idiot as to allow some guy he'd met one drink ago to tie him up and hit him. That needed trust. He trusted Kurt... And that reminded him. Because seriously ?!? He still couldn't believe it. But that didn't stop him from driving to the Lima Bean.

Kurt was there first and greeted him with dilated pupils and a whispered question:

"Coffee first or straight to the restrooms ?"

"The latter, before someone who knows us comes in and starts talking."

"Right."

They tried to be quiet. They really did. But they did hear someone leave quickly very early on and from the sound of it, someone entered and left again a moment later. But fortunately, the police wasn't called. So they could leave again some time later giggling like school girls as they thought of the poor guys' faces upon realising what was going on in that last cubicle.

Kurt hadn't been sure what to think of this particular kink of Sebastian's. Now he kind of liked it. Part of him was embarrassed and he was bright red because of it. He was a rather private person, normally. But there was something about it. That feeling of adventure. He was just relieved that he had interpreted the vague text correctly. The Lima Bean was more of a coffee date place, normally. And Sebastian asking him on a date would have been ... ? Awkward ? Strange ? Evidence for the existence of alien imposters ? An indication of brain cancer ? He didn't know. But Sebastian just didn't date.

Sebastian, on the other hand, was thinking about how to ask Kurt on a date again. He didn't actually have the courage, though he preferred to call it improvidence, to ask him directly. But then he had a brilliant idea. He could ask for a double-date while in the presence of his friends ! That way, he couldn't just say no without blowing their cover, but he could still go on an actual date with Kurt ! He was such a genius.

But Kurt's friends all hated him and he didn't like any of them, either. He didn't want to meet up with them. If he wanted something serious and lasting with Kurt, he realised now, he would have to put up with them. But worse. Much worse. If it actually worked with Kurt, he would have to meet his infamous father... He dearly hoped that that was a long way into the future.


	2. Trial Two: Family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 6x02, 6x03

Whenever you really want something to not happen for a long while, though, it happens on the first possible occasion.

And usually under the worst circumstances imaginable as well.

It hadn't even started out bad. But the fates were just that shrewd. First they gave him something really good. Kurt had felt lonely. Okay, that wasn't good. The good, even amazingly great thing was that Kurt had called Sebastian against his loneliness. Not one of his obnoxious friends, but Sebastian. He had obviously asked why him of all people, but being chosen by the process of elimination was not the worst thing that could happen. Definitely not when Kurt declared that he would be easist to be with in this kind of situation because Kurt did not expect him to try giving 'helpful advice'. Kurt just didn't want advice right now. He didn't want to be interrogated about what was wrong and directed to what somebody else thought he should do. He just didn't want to be alone. And his friends would only try to help. Which would not help him right now.

Since Sebastian didn't really care about his emotional trouble, though, he could just be present and maybe listen with one ear if Kurt did decide that he wanted to talk about it after all. If that sounded boring, he could finger him in that time and even fuck him after. As a thank-you for his time. And for Kurt to unwind. That sobered Sebastian up a bit, Kurt assuming that he didn't care about him, but since that seemed to be the condition for Kurt to share his worries, which was a great step towards a deeper relationship in Sebastian's eyes, he didn't argue. He agreed to come over and reached Kurt's place before the sun touched the horizon. Kurt welcomed him with a grateful sigh in nothing but a dressing gown. But he didn't feel like it just yet, he said and Sebastian was perfectly fine with that.

They just laid down in Kurt's bed, in Sebastian's case minus the jacket and shoes of course, and Kurt started talking almost right away. Apparently, Satan-a had proposed to her dumb genius of a girlfriend in glee today. And Sebastian had thought that they were unprofessional before. In school, really ? Whatever. It had stirred trouble, when Kurt had not supported them like everybody else, even though they should know better by now. That was the third gleek couple proposal. One had failed on the wedding day because of one of their friends getting into a car crash. One had failed on the wedding day, because the bride had run away. One had not even gotten to the wedding day. A gleek proposal was not a good omen.

Sebastian could perfectly agree with that. But Kurt was not done yet, so he continued listening, only half-heartedly playing with the opening of Kurt's gown. Apparently, Satan had then taken a good old bout of psychological vengeance with an insult tirade in the hallway. Kurt hadn't let it show, but it had hurt him. Badly. And now, Sebastian realised, Kurt let out a shuddering breath. He was barely holding himself together and he needed more than just to not be alone right now. Without a second thought, Sebastian pulled him into a hug and as if this was a permission he had only been waiting for, Kurt immediately clung to him, pulling him tight and crying into his shoulder that he had no real friends. His first ever friend, Mercedes, had tried to push him into religion, Rachel would always stab him in the back to get more spotlight and Santana was as cruel as ever.

He would have verbally soothed Kurt, but he couldn't disagree. He didn't know enough about Mercedes and he despised both the narcissistic she-hobbit and his old self in female. However, there was one thing he could say:

"Satan thought that Blaine broke up with you ? Is she blind ? Oh, right, my mistake. I shouldn't have expeced a lesbian girl to see your assets."

Kurt actually chuckled a bit.

"It's always about sex for you, isn't it ?"

"Trust me, she wouldn't have said that if she could have gotten a desperate please-somebody-love-me-fuck instead."

"She is in a relationship. And she wouldn't cheat on Brittany. She fought too hard for that to risk it."

"Who said anything about cheating ? I've had threesomes with established couples."

But Kurt hadn't really been listening anymore.

"Seb, is this a desperate please-somebody-love-me-fuck ?"

"No. I don't pity you, nor use you. We both like it, don't we ?"

"Hm."

"If you don't feel like it now, we don't have to have any kind of fuck at all."

"But you came all the way over here and listened to me complaining all this time."

"Yeah, well. We're friends, right ? Friends do that. Or they should."

"We're friends ? Since when ?"

"Sorry, I thought we were. But maybe I am mistaken. I don't have all that many friends to judge by, or any, it seems."

"No, you're right. You helped me, when I needed it, even though you got nothing out of it for yourself. That was really sweet of you and more than I could except from what I thought were my friends. So yes, you are at the very least a friend to me. I guess I just never realised that before. Probably poor judgement based on my own friends. Would you like to crash here or do you have to go back ?"

"I can stay."

And at that point, it had seemed like the best night of his life. Kurt now held him higher than his friends. It was utterly amazing. They fell asleep snuggling and he couldn't stop smiling even in his sleep.

 

Then the fates turned on him.

 

Dimly he noted a warmth on his skin that only sunlight could bring. But he didn't want to rise just yet. The bed was comfortable and there was a warm body feeling and smelling like Kurt in his arms and he thought that nothing could rip them apart. He heard a soft "Morning" then and registered far too late that it was far too deep for Kurt. The blanket moved ever so slightly and an outraged yell woke both of them with a start.

"Kurt, what's the meaning of this ? Who is that ? You ! Who are you and what the hell do you think you're doing here ?"

Sebastian was usually the one who fought back, who argued, who always had the last word, even against his own parents. Right now, he was just a tiny bit terrified and utterly shaken as he was yelled at by his lover's father looming over them. He must have come in to wake his son, only to find Sebastian with him. Kurt seemed, although not scared, pretty shaken, too. He was humiliated at their discovery and ashamed for some reason and grasping for words to explain. But Burt's rage was directed at Sebastian, not him. Kurt was trying to defend him. But he shouldn't have to.

"Sir, nothing happened last night."

"Oh, really ? Don't try that on me. I was a teenager, too. And I kn-"

"We're not teenagers anymore ! I'm sorry, sir, but your son is an adult now and does adult things. But not last night. He was lonely, so I came over and we talked and it got late, so I stayed. But nothing else happened. Not with how sad we was. That's no mood for sex."

Burt actually deflated a little, he believed him, but the protective parent was not so easily appeased.

"And if you just talked, what are you doing in his bed then ?"

"Because my boyfriend had no reason to banish me to the couch."

"Boyfriend ? You are my son's boyfriend ? Interesting, since I've never seen you before."

"We didn't know how to tell you. Of all that do know, some think Kurt a gold-digger because my family is filthy rich, but most think that I just use him for sex. And neither is true. We couldn't see you reacting well, so he hoped to delay a meeting until we knew how to convince you that this is real. Unlike my folks, you know that Kurt wouldn't give himself away just to get at my family's wealth, but also unlike them, you don't know me. You don't know that I wouldn't use him. I have a reputation as a slut and can't deny my past. But as the probably most famous gay man ever said: Don't judge lightly, because every saint has a past and every sinner has a future. Kurt has caused many changes in me and this is really serious for me."

"What ? Who would say that Kurt is a gold-digger ? He wouldn't ! But you're ... just: What ?"

"I know. Don't worry, my parents have thought that about every boyfriend I have ever had. And I have been known as a slut and as evil. I've done bad things, but that's in the past. Kurt makes me better."

"Oh does he ?"

"Yes, love does that to a person."

"Love ?"

"Yes, sir. I love your son with all my heart. I love everything about him, from his biting bitchiness, that strong spine of his, to the desperate way in which he seeks comfort when hurt, because it shows that under his fashion-fitted armour from years of resistance against all kinds of bullying there is a big, soft heart. I wanna care for him and protect him, when he is weak, and for him to take me under his fiery wings and put my enemies to flight, when I am. I want to run away with him and make my home with him. We are young and I saw what happened with Blaine. I know he's not completely over it yet, but I can wait. I'll wait forever, if I have to. I've never felt this way before. Please allow me to prove myself to you. Because I want the most important person in his life to accept me as a part of it, too."

Burt was so touched. He remembered that feeling well. He couldn't even be mad at finding this boy in Kurt's bed anymore. He hadn't given Blaine his blessing, he'd even directly told him to wait one time. But he hadn't listened. And while Burt had been glad, when they had gotten back together, because it had made Kurt happy again, the hurt that had followed had been worse. Maybe Blaine just hadn't been the one. Maybe this one was. This ... who ?

"I'm not sure that I am the most important person in Kurt's life anymore, but I'd like to be. For now. 'Till he finds the right one. Maybe that's you. You're right, though. I don't know you. But I will. And your name might be a good start."

"Oh, I'm so sorry. It's Sebastian. Smythe."

"Well, mine's Burt."

"I know, sir."

"I mean it. Burt. No-one calls me 'sir' in this house. It's a good attitude, but I get enough of that in the office."

"Sorry, s- Burt. I'll try to remember."

"Yeah, try. I'll be expecting you two for breakfast. Dressed."

 

After Burt had left, there was an odd silence. Sebastian knew when he said that that there would be a lot of explaining to do, but this silence felt just stifling. So he faced Kurt and saw shock directed at him.

"You can't love me."

"I..."

"You can't. You just can't. Not you of all people. I like you !"

"Yeah, how is that a problem ?"

"Because I don't love you ! I just like you, I thought we were friends. You can't love me. I couldn't do this to you."

"Do what ?"

"Lead you on, you idiot ! You didn't mean that, did you ? Because I know unrequited love. It's just cruel and I couldn't hurt you like that. It builds and builds until it blows up in your face. I've been there ! And I wish someone had put on the brakes for me then. Both times. Please, don't say-"

"Hey, calm down, I didn't think you'd react like this. I'd have toned it down some. But calm down, Kurt. No-one's being hurt."

"Unrequieted love can only end in heartbreak, Sebastian."

"Would you listen to me ?"

"Fine. What could possibly save you ?"

"My personality ? Don't worry, princess. I don't have a heart for you to break. I just didn't want a hiding from your dad for defiling his baby boy."

"Oh, so you didn't..."

"Mean it ? No. I like you. And you're super hot. But that's not love. Don't worry for me. I mean, it's cute, but we don't have the time to utilise that now, so maybe we should just get dressed and grab breakfast. Aren't you hungry ?"

And Kurt actually laughed in relief. He took a couple deep breaths and got up to dress. And Sebastian dearly thanked the distraction, or Kurt might have seen that he was barely holding onto his facade. Kurt didn't love him. He knew that before, though hearing was really not good for him, but it wasn't the worst. His love was a deal-breaker for Kurt. He couldn't ever tell him how he felt or everything they had would be gone. To protect his heart.

How could kindness be so cruel ?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, but there will be a happy ending. I think. I'm not entirely sure how to do that yet, but I'm still planning.
> 
> (Seb's quote/reference was to Oscar Wilde.)
> 
> Any thoughts on this perhaps ? (please)


	3. Trial Three: Friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I said I'd be quick. Enjoy (hopefully) !

His plan still stood.

That Kurt didn't love him (yet) was hardly news, so it shouldn't have any impact on his hopes. That his own love was a deal-breaker was not something he had expected, but he could work around that. He just had to hide his feelings from Kurt until the countertenor fell in love with him, too. Then he'd reveal that he felt the same and everybody would be happy. Yeah, that was a solid plan. Now, about getting Kurt to fall in love with him...

Kurt already liked him and that made fairly obvious that he had already achieved great progress, considering that Kurt used to hate his gutts. With that motivation he considered the next step. A double-date with Kurt's friends. But who ? Blaine and Dave were out of the question. That would just be painful. But with the frequently interchanging relationships of the former Gleeks he had no idea who else was a couple right now.

Wait. Kurt had only just told him about another relationship. Satan and ... urgh... Britney ? Something like that. Though it might not be the best idea to rub Kurt's nose in the newly engaged couple's happiness. Certainly not after what Satan had said to him. Although... If he could mend their friendship that would make him even better in Kurt's eyes. If only he could. He should work on that. From all he had ever heard, that other girl was a bit dumb but really nice. Maybe he could team up with her. Surely, she would want her fiance and friend to get along again, right ?

 

It wasn't even that hard to find ...her - he still wasn't sure he had the right name and he didn't want that to show - on her own. He just hoped he would get through the conversation without a twist in his brain. He'd heard stories. So he put on his most charming smile; not the smirk, he wanted to look innocent.

"Hey, lovely ! How's your day ?"

"Sad. My unicorn ate the mistletoe and Lord Tubbington changed my password again."

"Oh, uhh. That sounds really bad. I hope you're dealing alright ?"

"I am. But I don't know what a Meerkitty could want from me."

"Meerkitty ? Like... from 'meerkat' ? What Kurt called me ? Oh, you want to know what _I_ want from you ? Wait a second. Why do you call me by an invented diminutive ?"

"Because my unicorn said that you could be sweet sometimes and sweets are really small."

"Huh. Well I am really not small and he knows that. But I like that he admitted that I'm sweet. I'm an absolute sweetheart, you know."

"My unicorn said that you don't have a heart."

"Yeeeah... Can you keep a secret ?"

"Of course. I always keep them in my piggybank."

"... Anyway. I tell people I don't. But I do. I hide it."

"In your piggybank ?"

"... Yep."

"So you collect hearts ?"

"What ? No !"

"But you said you keep it in your piggybank. And piggybanks are meant to be filled, you know. You collect things and put them in there so they don't run away."

"Okay, I am now officially out of my league here, genius. Congratulations."

"Thank you, but I knew that. They said that at MIT, too."

Now he was stunned. He had actually be been sarcastic, but if the MIT had ...

"Wow. Well, anyway... I wanted to ask you to help me with something we both want."

"Chocolate ?"

"No. I actually don't eat chocolate. Not a lot, that is. Bad for teeth and looks and all that. So the only way I'm eating chocolate is dribbled onto a hot body."

"That's how I like it best, too !"

"Cool. But I was actually talking about something else. Kurt seemed really troubled the other day. I think he had a fight with Santana. But they're friends. I want them to remember that and smile at each other again. Would you help me with that ?"

"Obviously. I really missed my unicorn and now he doesn't talk to me, because my love gets mad, when he comes close. He hurt her."

"I heard about him not supporting your engagement. I'm sorry, but he only wanted to spare you the pain that he went through. Though trying to save someone from pain can hurt, too. I know that myself. ...Give him a chance ?"

"Of course. I miss him."

"Great. How about we all go out together and talk things through ?"

"Yes ! Yes ! I knew that you were not 'a heartless, vindictive manwhore using Kurt's despair to beguile and fuck him in order to get back at Blaine for not spreading it for him when he first invaded our lives'."

And she smiled so happily and hugged him as she said that, but he couldn't believe it. She had clearly quoted someone and her fiance was too mad at Kurt to have said something that portrayed him as innocent victim. So who had said that ? And who had heard it ? Everyone ? Was that what Kurt's friends thought about him ? He felt sick.

 

But Kurt didn't think that. He liked Sebastian. More than his friends right now. For God's sake, even Kurt's dad liked him. The breakfast had been relaxed, mostly consisting of inconsequential chit-chat, but overall quite nice. His friends though... That Blaine hated him was only to be expected. But unless he had suddenly developed a habit of talking about himself in the third person, he hadn't said it either. Who had ? He knew too little of them to make so much as an educated guess. That date was really necessary. As long as the confusing genius managed to arrange it. But being a genius and owning the good will of both Satan and Kurt, she probably would.

 A few hours later, he received a text from Kurt.

**U mad? double-date with Santana?**

That sounded a bit like a 'No'. But he was in it now. The least he could do was to support the blonde.

**U dont want er as ur foe, do u? Make peace! I'll go w u.**

He waited all of three minutes. He checked. Then, finally, there was an answer.

**tru. breadstix @ 7:30. thnx.**

Success ! Brilliant. Now he just needed to find clothes that the fashionista wouldn't complain about all evening and a way not to throw up whatever toxic waste they would serve him in Ohio's most infamous excuse of a restaurant.

 

He arrived ten minutes early in a burgundy button-down and black boot-cuts. Red just suited him and of all the colours that he would accept for trousers, which - unlike Kurt - were jeans-blue, suit-gray and black, no yellow, red, green or anything else, black went best with red. Strangely, though, he was the first to arrive. Kurt got in little more than five minutes later.

"Oh, hi, you're early."

"Not overly. And hi, skinny-jeans."

"Oh, you are. We both are. They'll come around eight."

"Eight ? Your text said-"

"I now. I expected you to be late."

"So you ordered me half an hour early ?"

"I didn't want you to be late."

"Well, I wasn't going to be."

"Sorry. I'm just not sure what to expect from you. Now-you and Dalton-you keep mixing in my head."

"Yeah, well, people change. You sure did."

"How did I change ?"

"Have you looked in the mirror lately ? 'Cause I'm not seeing a baby-penguin anymore. Damnit. I got myself an earworm. Not a Virgin anymore by Poe. You know it ?"

"Oh yes. So are you a slut, a jaded pill, Sebastian ? Been all over town ?"

"You know that's not the message though, right ?"

"What else do you interpret ?"

"I think the 'thought you should know before you let another lie get through your crooked little teeth. I don't think you wanna start that shit with me.' and 'Careful what it is you say, 'cause I can see right through you on a cloudy day' parts show that it's more about emancipation. She isn't slut-shaming herself. She shows him that he can't fool her into sleeping with her by making her believe he loves her or something. He can't lie to her, because she isn't a virgin, meaning naive, anymore. She has experience and knows what his endgame is. If he wants her, he can tell her honestly and she might decide to play weith him, but she won't fall for his charms like a naive little girl. That way, it's about emancipation. She isn't controlled by false romance, but on the same level as he is. That's what she tells him."

"Oh. I didn't know that."

"I don't _know_ it either. It's just my interpretation."

"It's an impressive interpretation. Why didn't I see that before ?"

"Maybe because I've lived in Paris for several formative years of my up-bringing and you were raised in Lima with retarded Ohio-values of romance, keeping the little girls docile to grow up into devoted little housewives for their working husbands."

"Damn. And I've lived in New York. I should know better."

"You're evolving. Breaking your Ohio-naive-romance-induced engagement to a self-obsessed cheater was the first step. Now you're progressing. We'll see how you develop."

"Yeah. I'm just not quite ready to give up on love yet."

"Don't do that. Love is real. It's just not quite what romance describes it as. Love isn't sweet. It's fierce. That's why it's symbol is the rose, not a daisy or something. It's a beauty with thorns."

"That's true... Wow, I never thought I'd be having a deep, philosophical debate with Sebastian the slutty Meerkat Smythe."

"I've changed, remember ?"

"For the better, Sebastian."

Arriving early turned out great. That they couldn't have sex with Kurt's friends due to arrive soon really forced them to talk and it was amazing. But soon enough, a reluctant Santana and cheery Brittany joined them and they all had a fairly positive dinner. Sebastian almost threw up, of course. It was Breadstix after all. But after Kurt apologised and assured them that, while he feared them falling apart like he and Blaine had, he hoped and wished the best for their relationship. And he asked if he could organise their wedding like he had for his father and Carole. Santana was still doubtful about his motivation, but after Brittany and Kurt had really gotten into it and were discussing ideas for locations and cakes, she acknowledged that he meant it. It remained their only topic during dinner, but the friends were reconciled and Kurt seemed genuinely happy.

"You're almost a good influence, slut", Santana told him afterwards as Kurt and Brittany went ahead in the general direction of the carpark, still discussing the wedding.

"Just 'almost' ?"

"Come on, meerkat, we both know what this is about. You went after the wrong one then and it has taken you until now to realise that. Because now, your first choice has drooped out of college and run back to school with his tail between his legs, while the one you discarded is the only one still in NYADA and nearing his graduation, also working for a famous fashion magazine on the side. And where are you ? Still in Lima."

"'Currently', not 'still'. For my sister's wedding. I'll go back to Yale soon enough."

"Sorry, what ?"

"I study law at Yale University, New Haven. Ever heard of that ?"

She didn't answer. She only looked at him like he was some strange puzzle.

"Look, I know what you all think about me, but you're wrong."

He left without another word and she just stared after him. She didn't really believe him, but she was no longer sure of herself either. So she called the former Gleeks into an emergency meeting.

 

Blaine didn't believe in Sebastian's sincerity for a second, but thought that Kurt deserved it for trusting the devil. Rachel proposed another intervention to save Kurt from Sebastian's clutches. Artie remained silently thoughtful, but doubted Sebastian still. Puck didn't voice it, but perfectly believed that Sebastian could be after Kurt without thoughts of revenge. Then he pondered his own sexuality some more. Cheerio-Kurt-memories kept questioning it. Sam wanted to protect his friend, but didn't know whether Sebastian was really a threat, because Kurt didn't really seem to be negatively affected by his continued presence. Quinn was busy with thoughts of her own love life and Mercedes worried for Kurt, but wouldn't swallow her pride and admit that she agreed with Rachel. Tina agreed with everything Blaine said.

And Dave, who had come with Blaine, didn't utter a single word. Not to them. He had seen the pair. Kurt was not in love, he wasn't about to be hurt. But Sebastian was. And while he didn't like the boy that had told him to crawl back into the closet, he could sympathise with him now. He knew what futile love for Kurt felt like. This couldn't end well. He considered asking Kurt to step back. But then he reconsidered. He should confront Sebastian first.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope to finish this story tomorrow, but I can't speak for the series yet. I'll have to plan more, first. Input is always welcome though. Oh and next is the Hurt Locker. Just with a slightly different outcome. I think I'll even go to the Rachel's house goodbye. Though I think that's 6x07...


	4. Trial Four: Sue Sylvester

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Toldya I'd update today. :)  
> Now 6x04 - 6x07, but mostly Seb's POV again, so I ignore most of the canon plot as background.

"You really love him, don't you ?"

"What ? I think you forgot who you're talking to, bear cub. I don't do love."

"Oh really ?"

"Yes, really. That all ?"

"No. Just one more thing: What is your name for the reason you always look at him with eyes that seem as if you are about cry and it's not clear whether from happiness at his presence in your life or sadness, because you know that he doesn't love you back."

"... You know that I hate you, right ?"

"You don't. I'm not even a threat to you. I'd never have a chance with him. Not after what I did to him."

"You... still want Kurt ? But you're with Blaine."

"I can't have what I really want. So I take the next best. What else can I do ? What would you do if Kurt turned away from you ?"

"I don't know. Slit my wrists ? Sorry, that was inappropriate. But I really don't know. Sleep around again, hoping to forget ?"

"You think that would work ?"

"No. Kurt is not exactly the kind of creature you forget. Like ever."

"I agree. But you should watch out."

"Why ? You gonna try for him ? Good luck. You said yourself that you don't have a chance."

"I know. And I won't try only to burn. I'm a realist, not a moth. But since Kurt has returned I have felt it. My 'relationship' that only came into existence by two guys similarly craving Kurt... its days are numbered. I thought moving in together would tie us together, but it didn't work. Blaine is not over Kurt either and he knows that he has a chance. Watch out, Sebastian, because I think that he will try and we can't know if Kurt will reject him or mend his enagement. He did come back to Lima for it."

"Yeah, but he's over it now. Blaine had his second chance. After cheating on him. But he won't get a third. Kurt won't buy his crap again. He knows better."

"Would you bet your happiness on it ?"

He could not forget Dave's words. Blaine would try to win Kurt back. And as much as he wished it, he couldn't brush that off. Kurt had once agreed to spend all his life with him. Blaine was a serious threat. He needed a pre-emptive strike. They should go on another date... This time alone. Kurt liked talking to him now, he could use that. He had to. He just couldn't imagine what to do if Kurt turned his back on him.

Figuratively, that was. If Kurt did so literally, he was quite sure that he knew what he would do. Probably something along the lines of pressing him against the next vertical surface (or bending him over the next horizontal surface, whichever was closer) and literally, not metaphorically, kissing his ass before fucking him. Love might not equal lust, but they didn't exactly contradict each other, either.

 

Convincing Kurt to go on a date with him was not even that difficult. Not now that he asked with his usual confidence, meaning swagger. Kurt grinned at his tone and mock-innocently asked where the date was going to end, seeing as it was technically only their second date, meaning that the third-date-rule didn't yet apply. Sebastian actually laughed out loud at that and, unbeknowst to him, Kurt's grin morphed into an honest smile. Sebastian just got him. Blaine would most likely have jumped to justify his actions or accused him of being no better.

But he considered it. He was actually really busy with the glee club right now, but then again, he was also really stressed out. He should relax before he became even more insufferable and useless. Getting laid always did wonders on his tolerability and, as the double-date had shown, even just talking to Sebastian was quite good already. He could spare the time for a date. Everyone would be happier for it.

So he agreed and got a reluctant Sebastian to go to Breadstix with him. Yes, it was horrible. But it was Breadstix. It felt like home and family dinners and glee club celebrations. He liked it by association. Interestingly enough, Sebastian seemed to get that, too. He also pulled out Kurt's chair for him with a face that made it obvious that he was just being funny.

Whenever Blaine had pulled out his chair for him he had been torn between feeling flattered and being insulted that he was the girl. He was taller than Blaine and stronger by now, too. And he would be mad at himself for liking it. He didn't want to be feminised like that. And he shouldn't like it. But Sebastian found a way to be chivalrous without insulting him, because he mocked the gesture instead. They could both chuckle at it and Kurt was still being served.

Maybe he should stop comparing them, though. It was rude towards Sebastian to keep measuring him by Blaine's standards. Or maybe it was rude towards Blaine because Sebastian kept exceeding him ?

 

"Sooo: favourite singer ?"

"As a fellow music-lover, you'll understand that that is a wide field."

"I know. But I do have a favourite. And a close second. Also, since I asked for a singer, not song, you can exclude musicals as they keep being reimagined without losing their beauty."

"I don't really like musicals anyway."

He ignored Kurt's shocked expression and thought it through.

"I might have overlooked someone, but I think ... Lady Gaga. Not as idol, mind you. I don't sing girl songs. But I like to listen to her."

"Seriously ? She's my favourite, too ! Very closely followed by Madonna, but it's still her. And unlike you, I _love_ singing her songs, but I hadn't imagined that we would agree on that. Blaine and I were so far apart at that. But opposites attract, I guess."

At that, Sebastian couldn't suppress a wince, but Kurt was too busy biting his tongue for letting that slip to notice.

"Yeah... physicists say that because of magnets. But I'm with the biologists on that. And not just because I naturally prefer anatomy over robotic surrogates."

"And what would do biologists say ?"

"Birds of a feather flock together. And of course, you can mix watery liquids only with watery liquids and lipids only with lipids. But water and lipid don't go together. So much for 'opposites attract'."

"Hm. I guess there is a point to that."

"See ? I am brilliant and we are having philosophical debates again."

"I wouldn't go that far, right now."

His tone was amused, though, and they ate in a comfortable silence for a while. Then a thought crossed Sebastian's mind.

"You sing Lady Gaga songs ?"

"Yes. We sung two in glee and there's always free time."

"Which two ?"

"Bad romance and Born this way, why ? You think so little of our glee club."

"I can't think much of an organisation that doesn't give you a single solo in any competition, now can I ? Doesn't mean I wouldn't like a private show of Lady Gaga songs performed by my favourite diva, though."

"Thank you for saying that I am your favourite diva and yes, I will sing Gaga for you. If you ask nicely. But I have had a solo in a competition, just not in glee club."

"Really ? Where else ?"

"Don't laugh."

"I am not supposed to promise things when I don't know whether I can keep them."

"Fine. Then die ignorant."

"Oh please ! Pretty please ?"

"Okay. Flattery does get you everywhere. Or maybe it was the begging. You should do that more often..."

"Kurt, please ! Today !"

"Alright. It was cheerleading nationals. And yes, I was a Cheerio. Boys can be cheerleaders, too."

"You- ? Wow. Did you win ?"

"Oh yes. My throat hurt like hell after fifteen minutes of Celine Dion, in French, but it payed off."

"Damn. I have had a national cheerleading champion with even knowing it. Shouldn't you be extra flexible or something ? I haven't seen that at work."

"You haven't seen much of anything. Yet."

"Is that an invitation ?"

"Do you need an even more obvious one ? Like: For someone who has been calling me bitchy, you have yet to position me thusly."

"I don't think I needed it, but I definitely liked that 'inviation'. What more is there there that I have yet to explore ?"

"Hm... Since we only undress like... half the time and urgent need tends to dominate our 'meetings': Have you noticed my tattoo, yet ?"

"You are tattooed ?"

"On my back. Thinking about 'bitchy' again ?"

"Definitely. Pity, we'll have to go all the way home for that. Because I'm not lowering myself onto the floor of this place's bathroom. Walls are one thing, but floor ? No."

"I agree. But there is one thing you should have noticed, yet have failed to comment on."

"That being ?"

"My tongue piercing."

"Your... ? Oh that's what that was ! I'd thought that I'd felt something and wondered, but with your mouth involved, I got kind of side-tracked."

Kurt glowed at the compliment and Sebastian started hoping that they weren't being listened in on. Although one waitress looked at them strangely... But he had better things to do than think about one snarling waitress.

"Show me. Please ?"

Kurt chuckled and stuck his tongue out far, revealing a tiny silvery ball.

"Oh, sweet hell, so hot and full of sins. How can something as childish as sticking out your tongue at someone be so child-inappropriate ?"

Kurt laughed aloud. It was just so true. But then that odd waitress interrupted and Kurt's face immediately froze in recognition, before turning into exasperation as she detailed Sebastian's past mistakes. As if Kurt needed to be reminded that Sebastian had 'tried to blind him' and almost blinded his boyfriend in the process. Now Sebastian was angry, though. That woman, Sue Sylvester as Kurt identified her, tried to sabotage his relationship with Kurt.

He pointedly asked whether she was always so invested in the relationships of her former students and that was what distracted her from having any kind of relationship herself, seeing as she was clearly still single at ... how old exactly ? The principal turned without a word and stormed off, turning over tables as she went. Now, Kurt couldn't hold himself together anymore.

"You just- ! Oh my ! Wow. I have never seen anyone of my generation stand up to her like that ! That's courage. And I mean successfully, too ! You really are impressive."

"Yeah, well, I didn't like her saying these things."

"Unlike most of what she says, though, they're not really lies, are they ?"

"Not everything that's not a lie is truth."

"I'm pretty sure that the definition of lying is to speak untruth."

"Intentionally. That's lying. If you believe what you say, you err, but don't lie, even when you speak untruth."

"She was mistaken ?"

"I never wanted to blind you. You must believe me on that."

"Sebastian, you threw a slushie with rock salt in it at me."

"Yes. I did. I had heard about you being overly meticulous with your skin care. I wanted... Ugh. I wanted to hit you about from neckline to your lips. You know what cold and salt can do to your skin ? It dehydrates and irritates the skin to an angry, ugly rash. That fades with time, but no covering up would have managed to conceal that for several days to come. I wanted to hurt your pride by distorting your appearance, not blind you. And I'm a good shot. I play lacrosse, for fuck's sake. I can trust my aim. But Blaine got in the way and he was lower than you, so it hit him higher than it would have you. It wouldn't have reached your eyes. Trust me ?"

Kurt looked at him for what felt like ages, trying to discern whether he was telling the truth.

"I believe you. And I would have been mad, if it had worked. But I'll admit that it was a well thought-out plan. Don't mess with my skin-care, though. I'm serious."

"Yes, sir."

"... Why didn't you say that then ?"

"And lose my face ? I am proud too, you know."

"Then why did you tell me now ?"

"I don't know. I like this. A lot. Maybe it was worth more to me. Or maybe the continued guilt chipped off enough of my pride by now."

"Maybe. Why did you hate me so much anyway ?"

"I never hated you. I just loved the challenge. And you kept up with me. So I flirted with Blaine, whenever you where around us, and insulted you, when it was just us."

"Wait. You flirted with Blaine just to challenge me ?"

"Sure. He is so not my type. Docile littly prep boy. I like passion, I like Lady Gaga. I like you. You fascinated me then and now you have become even better. He ? Nah. I'll pass even if he begs me."

"You met up with him before you saw me."

"Because I wanted the Warblers to win and he had insider knowledge of a great rival of ours."

"And he was going to tell you ?"

"He babbled away with the tiniest bit of flattery. Don't you remember how the whole MJ debactle started ?"

"You just used him for information."

"Yup."

"But you were obsessed with me."

"Fascinated, not obsessed. I'm not a stalker."

"And how can I believe now ? Especially now that the New Directions are headed to face off against the Warblers again ?"

"Blaine's Warblers, not mine. It wouldn't be my win now and I'll eat out that Sylvester-woman's pussy before I gift-wrap Blanderson a victory that I have earned."

Kurt looked like was about to be sick on the table and Sebastian smiled.

"Exactly how I feel at the prospect."

Kurt believed him.

 

Unfortnuately, they were not able to go home together as Rachel called Kurt back. She was freaking out so loudly about something glee-related at the phone that even Sebastian heard it. From across the table. But Kurt bedgrudgingly obliged. He said goodbye with a kiss to Sebastian's cheek and went out sighing over his friend. Sebastian remained seated for another ten minutes. A kiss on the cheek was not overly erotic, was it ? No, it was romantic. Boyfriend-like. In the sense of serious-not-just-carnal-relationship-like. Oh holy hell. He was progressing !

 

And then Sue Sylvester had to prove that interrupting a date was the least of all the problems she could cause. He had agreed to come to the invitational. But he couldn't find Kurt. He asked around and no-one knew where the countertenor was. Then he heard one of the current Warblers ask if anyone had seen Blaine. He was missing, too. Kurt and Blaine were missing together. Sebastian froze in fear. Had he been too late ? Had they run away together ? Kurt wouldn't, would he ? No, at the very least he wouldn't leave the glee club he cared about in the hands of the she-hobbit.

But something was wrong. Very wrong. The next 24 hours were pretty much the worst in Sebastian's life. He didn't eat. He didn't sleep. And he embarrassed himself in front of everyone with his constant questions about whether Kurt had shown up again and his frantic running around in search of him. But strangely enough, it made several of Kurt's friends rethink their opinions about him. He was really, sincerely worried about Kurt's uncharacteristic disappearance. And they finally saw that sincerity.

The invitationals were almost over, when suddenly Kurt and Blaine rushed in. And they were dishevelled, their shirts hanging open and they seemed sweaty and out of breath. Sebastian had seen this kind of appearance many times. He could not help but choke out:"Did you just have sex with your ex ?"

"Thank Gaga, no ! That would have really been too far. No, wait. This was definitely too far already. Can you believe it ? That madwoman actually trapped us !!! And she wouldn't let us out before we kissed. Someone put her in a padded cell, please."

"Madwoman ? What ?"

"Sue Sylvester, of course. Who else is that mad ? She wants Blaine and me to get back together and she literally set a trap to lock us together in a tiny room. And damn it got hot in there. I felt like I was melting and not the good kind."

Okay. He had definitely underestimated her. This Sue Sylvester did not seem like person he wanted to work against... But first he concentrated on Kurt. He was really sweaty and riled up. In other words: Excellent conditions for hot, frantic, I-am-so-glad-to-have-you-back-and-need-to-reclaim-you-after-you-kissed-your-ex-sex. But Blaine was disconcerting. He blushed and could not tear his eyes from Kurt for the entire performance. Dave had been right.

He was unsure what to do about that, though. Both Blaine the ex-fiance and Sue Sylvester the mad shipper were against him. One would have been difficult. But both ? He needed to be really careful. He just didn't consider that he had to be quick, too. But he realised that soon enough. When Kurt invited Sebastian to the goodbye to Rachel's childhood home, he asked back whether Kurt really wanted him there, seeing as it was more of a New Directions party.

Kurt agreed that he might not be welcome. He also said that he would like to bring him anyway, but that he didn't want to ruin the mood. It was a hard goodbye. So Sebastian kissed him on the forehead and told him not to worry, stating that he knew how important Kurt's friends were to him. Kurt was grateful and went alone, both separately wondering why that exchange had felt so much like actual-boyfriends-behaviour.

 

But then Kurt returned and the first thing he said was:"Blaine kissed me."

It hit Sebastian hard and his cracking tone and grimace let Kurt know without a doubt.

"... And ? What did you do ? Will you take him back ?"

"He didn't ask me out, Sebastian. He kissed me and ran away. And I know that it was just a kiss this time, but someone who has cheated once should really not do anything of that kind with someone else while in a relationship. Under duress, I could accept. We had no choice. But this wasn't forced. This was his decision. And I am glad that I broke the engagement, because he clearly didn't change. He kissed another guy behind his boyfriend's back. Again. I will never take him back. But I wanted to tell you."

"Thank you and I think that's really wise. Not taking him back, I mean."

"Yes. Now I just need to break that to principal Sylvester, because I still don't trust her that she accepted it when we told her after the invitationals-incident that we really were just friends. I've known her a long time and you can trust me: She is never so easily put off. "

"Noted. Can I talk to her ?"

"Sure ? She might actually claw your eyes out to get what she wants."

"I'm sure. But for now, may I ... show everyone who you belong to ?"

"Oh Bas, you don't need an excuse to leave marks. As long as you are prepared for me to reciporate, you can be as rough as you want."

And that tone always got him. Needless to say, when he showed up at Sue Sylvester's office, his lips were swollen from Kurt's teeth nibbling on them and his throat was littered with love bites. And that was nothing compared to what his clothes hid from her comically wide eyes.

"Now, principal, I think we need to talk about Kurt's future."

"I do not think that there is any talk necessary."

"Good. Because Blaine is a repeated cheater and Kurt is through with him. I have done bad things in the past, too. But unlike him, I have changed. For the better, as Kurt said. So what does Blaine offer you that I can't ?"

"Nothing, ... but the sweetest love that ever graced this earth and I _will_ throw flowers at people on their super-gay wedding."

"I said: Something I _can't_ offer. Be our flower-girl ? And with Kurt as wedding-planner, how can it not be super-gay ? I might even be convinced to put horns on the bridles of the white horses pulling our couple carriage. If he asks."

Now Sue was stunned.

"You want to be Mrs Porcelain ?"

"I'm not a woman. Neither of us is. But yes. I love him and I want to be with him forever. Nothing like a ring to show that, is there ?"

She leant back in her seat and considered him.

"And you can arrange that ?"

"If you can help me or at least stop sabotaging my relationship with him ? Yes, I can."

 

"Deal."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reminder: You are welcome to suggest things you would like to see happen or think should happen now. I have yet to plan beyond this.  
> And please comment. (You can't see it, but I'm making puppy-eyes at the screen as I write this.)


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